Did you know I spent my early teens playing flash games? I’d frequent Newgrounds, spam the forums with worthless opinions (racking up a post count north of 20k), and after that use the flash films/games because the icing around the teenage-annoyance cake. So when the editor pushed the diepio game for you to play for me, I was suspicious.
At the beginning, I figured to inquire about: “How are you aware I used to play flash games on Newgrounds?”, but thought he’d suspect something. Not just, if I was wrong, would he start carefully and systematically comparing Newgrounds general posts with my general awkward demeanor to track down younger me but, generally if i was right, he would know I had been onto the bastard. Then the editor would foil my entire life plans by occasionally whispering in my ear: “hey, consider this gem of a Newgrounds general post…”, thus bit-by-bit destroying what little confidence We have left.
Like other narratives, I had been asked who’s tale it had been. So, one a little water around the face later, I realized it wasn’t a philosophical question of free-will but alternatively just asking me my name. Although, noticing this is an internet based multiplayer title, I thought I’d hide how I’d be examining this video game with a critical eye as part of my job. So off I went. The tale of “NotAJournalist” had begun.
Naturally, similar to most free-to-play PvP titles, Diep.io starts off with a whisper. You happen to be runt, the bottom of a pile, within a bad world trying to shoot you in the back of your head. Or possibly a small, circular tank floating amongst other shapes and other tanks. Therefore I did the most obvious thing: I blew with the squares, triangles and pentagons that hung out passively while dodging each of the circle with names on them. Yes, the aesthetic could possibly be recreated with MS Paint and one and only thing that may be missing is Comic Sans.
Each level offered me the option of upgrade: Regen, health, bullet damage, bullet speed, rate of fire, bullet penetration, body damage (collision damage), and movement speed. An issue that became immediately obvious was that when I planned to reside more than a youngster inside a paddling pool of concentrated hydrochloric acid, i will have to pick regen at some time. Without this, I might be worn over time like said child from before.
Eventually, I leveled past the “spitball-n-straw” stage and was asked should i wanted a piece of equipment-gun, a sniper rifle, a dual-barrel assault rifle, or in order to shoot forwards and backwards while spinning madly like a ballistic hedgehog. Since I’m the kind of simpleton to try out as Soldier 57 on Overwatch, out of anxiety about confusion otherwise, I went together with the assault rifle option on my own tank.
Ultimately, like most things, my time with Diep.io came to a stop when I began picking fights with many other players. Despite having the greatest damage output I could possibly muster, one of the most speed, a large regen pool, and more health than I knew how to deal with, other players were quickly in a position to put me in my place. I’d be chipping away at their cathedral of health with my toothbrush shiv and they’d just sweep me aside with an almighty paw without noticing I ever existed.